Nikol Moses found herself craving a change of scenery amid the pandemic-induced stir-craziness. Two years ago, she made a bold decision to leave her hometown of Melbourne and relocate to Brisbane, a mere two-hour flight away on Australia's eastern seaboard. With a naturally sociable and outgoing personality, the 22-year-old anticipated that making new friends would be a breeze in her new city.
However, reality did not align with her expectations. Despite her best efforts, Moses found herself grappling with loneliness during her initial nine months in Brisbane. Despite her outgoing nature, she struggled to forge meaningful connections and build a social network in her new environment.
In a bid to overcome her sense of isolation, Moses turned to the digital realm where Gen Z's social lives predominantly unfold: TikTok. Posting a candid video about her struggle to make friends, she struck a chord with hundreds of fellow young adults who reached out to share similar experiences. Harnessing this newfound community support, Moses embarked on a mission to create opportunities for meaningful connections by hosting "Friends on Purpose" events. Over the past eight months, she has welcomed approximately 1,500 attendees to these in-person gatherings, fostering an environment where individuals can forge genuine friendships.
Reflecting on her experiences, Moses cherishes the moments when attendees effortlessly bond, reminiscent of assembling a group of friends destined to meet in a previous lifetime. Yet, her journey to establish a friend circle is emblematic of a broader societal trend. According to a July survey by the Pew Research Center, less than one-third of Americans under 30 reported having five or more close friends, with 8% stating they had none. This stands in stark contrast to previous decades, where young adults boasted a higher number of friends on average.
Despite a strong desire for social connection evident in the popularity of Moses' events and Gen Z's willingness to invest in social experiences, many struggle to cultivate meaningful relationships. One major contributing factor to this phenomenon is the decline of "fringe friends" – casual acquaintances encountered sporadically in social settings. These peripheral connections play a crucial role in introducing individuals to new interests, social circles, and even potential romantic partners. However, as these incidental interactions diminish, so too does the diversity and richness of our social networks, leaving many feeling disconnected and isolated.
What We Lose Without Fringe Friends:
Close friendships are regarded as essential components of a fulfilling life, surpassing the significance of traditional relationships like marriage or parenthood, according to a 2023 survey conducted by the Pew Research Center. Juliana Horowitz, an associate director of research at Pew, highlighted the pivotal role that close friendships play in people's overall well-being.
However, despite the recognized importance of these connections, many Americans are grappling with maintaining them. A comparison between data from a 1990 Gallup survey and the American Survey Center's 2021 American Perspectives Survey reveals a concerning trend. In 1990, only 3% of Americans reported having no close friends, whereas by 2021, this figure had surged to 12%. Similarly, the proportion of individuals who claimed to have 10 or more close friends dwindled from one-third in 1990 to a mere 13% in 2021.
While the adage "quality over quantity" rings true, the research indicates that Americans derive greater satisfaction from their social networks as the number of close friendships increases. These findings underscore the growing challenge of nurturing meaningful connections in an increasingly disconnected society.
Number of Close Friends by Age:
Daniel Cox, the director of the Survey Center on American Life at the American Enterprise Institute, emphasized the importance of nurturing both close friendships and more casual social interactions. According to Cox, the notion that a few close friends are sufficient for navigating life's challenges is not supported by empirical evidence.
"We find that even for close friends, the more you have, the better you do on a variety of measures, whether it's loneliness, whether it's physical health, life satisfaction — all these things are higher when you hit four or five or six friends," Cox explained.
Moreover, Cox highlighted the significance of weaker social ties, which connect individuals to a broader network beyond their immediate circles. These less-intimate relationships play a crucial role in exposing individuals to diverse experiences and perspectives.
"In some ways, these weak social ties are even more important than our intimate friendships and relationships that we have because they connect us to a wider world," Cox elaborated. He noted that people tend to gravitate toward others who share similar characteristics, such as race, religion, or political beliefs. However, more-distant relationships offer opportunities for exposure to different perspectives and access to unique information.
Reflecting on Cox's insights, one might appreciate the value of seemingly mundane interactions, such as those with a local bodega worker. Amid the challenges of the pandemic, such casual encounters provided a source of light and connection. The exchange of baked goods for snacks exemplifies the reciprocity and warmth that can emerge from these unexpected relationships, offering a glimpse into the profound impact of even the simplest social interactions.
0 Comments